Neuroma or Normal?

"What's a neuroma?" I asked Robert as he stated that he believes this is what he might have. Knowing enough English and Greek/Latin root words, I knew it would be related to the nervous system somehow, which is a whole other side to amputation that we were never aware of until him going through it now.

A neuroma is a growth or benign tumor on the nerves of the foot. But his foot was removed- you say. Yes, but not the nerves. The foot nerves are intact and were wrapped up along with his calf muscle to guard the underside of his residual limb, with a giant seam sewn across the top of his shin about 6-7 inches below his knee. So he still "feels" his foot and his toes "doing things" even though the flesh and bone are absent.

For example, the other day his right foot was wet as he was working in water, so his left "foot" perceived that it was wet as well - this is what they call a phantom sensation. He has all kinds of phantom sensations ranging from a toe cramp and his foot itching to it being hot or cold. They are very real in the sense that he feels them, but they are also controlled by the mind to some extent.

In addition to these phantom sensations, he has had phantom pains to return - something he now sleeps through, but something that causes him/us grief on a regular basis. Phantom pains and their elusiveness still baffle the medical experts. They are not totally understood, much like the nervous system and the brain are not and are currently being studied with the hopes of helping more amputees overcome these illusive pains, which many thought they would be rid of when their limb was severed.

Now, Robert has been having a different pain - what he calls "real pain" at the end of his limb, as he has learned to distinguish physical pain from the more neural/mental phantom pains. Because of it, some days/hours he is unable to use his prosthesis and becomes what he calls a "monoped" again. It's all part of the process as his nerves heal, but we find ourselves asking with each new pain - is this NORMAL? Honestly, being an amputee (and their caregiver) is like exploring undiscovered terrain - simultaneously dangerous and promising.

He saw his prosthestist, Robby Schiff, yesterday to be fitted for his second leg - the vacuum kind. It hurt him to walk with it because of that little ball of pain and his gait. In a nutshell, this is what we are looking at today:

Problems:
-possible neuroma
-poor gait
-weak left leg due to atrophy
Solutions:
-massage and hold out for an upcoming doctor visit with the orthopedic surgeon (in Houston) so he can refer Robert to a specialist if it's a neuroma
-travel to Houston for gait training with some lady who is the alleged gait go-to person who will give
him weekly homework on how to walk correctly
-exercise
Problems:
-we live near Austin
-the ranch owners are coming and the ranch continues to need running
Solutions:
-God has blessed us with good vehicles and family/friends with which he can stay
-God is also blessing us with help from our sons, daughter-in-law, and another ranch family who come here to work

The Real Problem:
-We all need strength to persevere, faith to be still, hope to know that this life is not in vain, and wisdom to guide us.
The Real Solution:
-Speaking for myself, but also for Robert to some degree- I came across this verse this morning after asking God for guidance- and this gave/gives us peace with our "New Normal," neuroma or not-

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds,  because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. Such a person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do." James 1:2-8

My favorite parts- How God gives wisdom WITHOUT FINDING FAULT! That is amazing, especially if you are like me and can find fault with anything. God is definitely not like we people are. The other favorite part is that our job is to "LET perseverance finish its work" - meaning to allow the struggle and weather the storms. 

So, we are asking and we are trusting, knowing that God always provides wisdom. Meanwhile, Robert returns to the prosthetist tomorrow to see if/how well he can walk with the new leg. To be continued . . . 

#phantompain

#neuroma

#newnormal

#trustinggod

Ranchin Recipes

From time-to-time a recipe has been born here on the ranch just because of the environment with its cactus pears, quail eggs, and mustang grapes, or sometimes because of us simply needing something substantial to eat when working outside all day.Some friends have asked for the recipes, so those are what I will share here occasionally. Enjoy! 

Burn Your Bum Chili

2 lbs. lean hamburger meat
2 onions (yellow for sweetness or white for spunk)
1 very large jalapeno, chopped
1 fresh tomato, chopped
1 small, green bell pepper, chopped (and to mess with your consumers as to which bite has the hot pepper)
Directions part 1: Brown meat and add all other ingredients - heating on medium, stirring often until browned and sauteed while getting together the spices for the next step.

Note: All spices are to be dumped in "to taste" or using your best "guesstimate"- it's hard for some not to measure, but just go with the flow and live a little!
chili powder - a good bit
cumin - a good bit
garlic powder - a bit
cayenne pepper - a bit
jalapeno salt - a bit
salt - a small bit
coarse ground black pepper - a bit
Directions part 2: Add all spices with about 1/2 cup of water, stir and continue to softly boil while you do the next steps.


1 reg. can Mexican style stewed tomatoes
1 reg. can tomato sauce
2 reg. cans white kidney beans
Directions part 3: Add all of the above, stirring gently and put the heat on low for about an hour. If you want to thicken the chili, either keep it uncovered or separately mix 1-2 tablespoons of cornstarch into a couple tablespoons of cold water and stir it into the chili.

It's best if it sits, chills overnight in the fridge and is reheated the next day. Add cheese for less burn to your bum!

Hope

Much has happened since I last wrote. As with everyone's life - some things were challenging, some were uplifting, and some neutral - all blended into these seconds and times we call "life". 

Here is a glass half empty/half full synopsis of our recent past:

The Glass is Half Empty Version

-Robert's phantom pains returned. 
-Robert's leg shrank to the point that his prosthesis was too big for him to walk some days.
-Our daughter-in-law was hospitalized with HELLP Syndrome.
-Our grandchild was born prematurely, had a collapsed lung, jaundice, and her system was borderline septic.
-I sprained my ankle badly enough to be on crutches during the last week of school.
-Robert had a fall.
-I was stung by a scorpion.
-We are exhausted.

The Glass is Half Full Version

-Robert controls the phantom pains better now with massage, meds, and realizing he may just need his second and better fitting prosthesis for them to disappear again.
-Robert's second prosthesis is a way-cool vacuum one and his insurance company approved it, so the  gaping fit of his old one is just temporarily crippling.
-Our daughter-in-law caught it in time, survived AND had no complications.
-Our granddaughter, although born prematurely, escaped dying from HELLP Syndrome and is already home and gaining weight every day.
-My sprained ankle sat me still long enough to make some major life decisions, taught me to ask for help more, and showed me what Robert felt like riding through H.E.B. in an electric wheelchair, among a thousand other things that only crutches and limitations can teach you.
-Although Robert fell on our hard, tile floor with his residual limb exposed, he landed on his right butt cheek and with the bed breaking part of his fall; some do not fare as well.
-Although it was a bark scorpion, it must have eaten recently because it wasn't that painful; then again, it stung me on the right butt cheek- so maybe that's a help. What is it with our right butt cheeks lately?
-We have sons, parents, family, and friends who support us, and we have HOPE. 

The point?
When we mortals endure trials, we no longer have hope that is frail; we have this hyper-hope that is chiseled by character-building exercises in the gym of life and designed by God to produce "a harvest of righteousness." 

The take-away?
When we suffer trials, which we all have and will, if we remember to surrender to God as we squirm and scream, He will turn our gaze to the central point of this life- and nothing else will matter. They say God's office is at the bottom of the rope AND that He's a last-minute God. That is when He works things for His glory - when we long to despair the most, the potential for hope is the greatest.

"Hope in God; for I shall again praise Him, my help and my God." Psalm 43:56

All Hail Breaks Loose

And he STILL KEEPS cleaning the pool . . . Word of the day - focused.

Walking Again in Only Two Months!

Things don't always go this smoothly in life, BUT sometimes one discovers that . . . TIMETABLES ARE FOR MEN AND NOT FOR GOD. 

Most amputees walk within 3-6 months, but when you combine prayer, a faith-filled man, and add -

new padding and counsel from our great prosthetist, 

Robby Schiff (and staff) at Care Prosthetics and Orthotics +

good socks +

an adjustment to your "foot" while you wait +

a little tweaking of your "ankle" screws

='s success and big thanks to God!

It CAN happen.

Today's Lesson

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;

    his mercies never come to an end;

they are new every morning. 

Great is Your faithfulness." 

~Lamentations 3:22-23

#BKA 

#belowthekneeamputee

#prosthesis

#Godisgood

Surrounded by History

Good article: Brief History of Barbed Wire

The ranch we work on is 3,500 acres and is surrounded by historical evidence that it is one of the oldest in the area. While mending fences, we came across this stretch of barbed wire:

Split Diamond barbed wire 

Patented by H.N. Fentress, December 14, 1875

Rattlesnake Dilemma

Spring is mating season for snakes, so it is no surprise that we often see them on the ranch this time of year - lots and lots of them. Plus, with its creeks and rocky terrain, Cedar Creek is known for being home to many types of rattlesnakes - as the one pictured here. Because we see snakes so often and because they serve a valuable purpose (mice control), "live and let live" is the usual policy. However, this evening, as I was driving home and humming some sweet tune I spied this giant thing cruising toward our resident deputy's house through the yard where his two young children play. From a distance, a snake is just a snake, so I sped forward to identify it. If it was a rat snake, then it would live - if not, well - you see the picture. As I sped closer, its tail and head, both suspended slightly, were a dead giveaway to me that it was likely a rattler (pun intended). If it were heading the opposite direction I would have ignored it, but all I could think of were the children that play in that same grassy stretch - and this type of rattler is aggressive; some aren't. 

With about one second to decide what to do to kill it before it was unreachable, I floored it and ran over it in my Nissan Sentra, not exactly a ranch vehicle, but it'll do. That only made it mad. It struck at my car as I wheeled around and ran over it a second time, with me now well into their front yard and doing donuts. Well, that only wounded it's mid-section, so it kept cruising toward the house-side bushes. 

Preparing for a third attempt, the resident deputy unknowingly came running outside and toward the angry rattler to see what I was doing. Motioning violently through my windshield and toward the snake to warn him to stop walking - he finally saw it and ran to grab a weapon.

 Meanwhile, I got out of the car so as not to lose sight of our prey. Being aggressive and protecting itself, it prepared to strike me - even after being run over TWICE. This is often the case with these, by the way. I hate to kill snakes, but when we do - you should know, rattlers die hard. If you ever come across one - be careful. We've had one strike with half its head severed. 

Anyway - the deputy shot it several times before it finally died. It was about 4 1/2 feet long and looks to me like a Diamondback Rattlesnake, one of the most common in these parts. Somebody correct me if I'm wrong, please. 

Today's lessons: "There's a time to die" - "Don't mess with the children" AND "Never let your guard down." Happy spring.